Interviewing A.
I went to a girls high school that none of my friends went to. I was the only one assigned to go there, so when I entered the school I had no one in familiar and had to make friends all from the bottom line. However despite of my concerns, my first year of school life was successful. I made numerous friends from diverse groups, which all of them are still in close contact with me up to this day.
One of them is my friend called A. We were in the same class during our first year of high school, and after school we would seek for a delicious restaurant and spend pleasant times of our own. We talked a lot, contacted each other frequently, and met often even after our graduation. She was indeed one of my closest friends. I thought I had known the best about her and it was vice versa for her too. But there was one thing I never knew since then. And this confession is based on what I have heard and interviewed from her.
My friend was the only child who had lived happily with her parents. However, at the age of her middle school years, a small crack appeared on the surface of her parents' relationship. "I was too young to know such, but as time passed by I started to realize the difference and slowly felt that something was going wrong" she said. Back then, her mother was a normal worker at a company and her dad was an illegal moneylender. She said that she lived a very abundant life in terms of material wealth, "honestly, our family had a lot of money. Especially for my dad, he piled up bunch of money in a huge closet at our house and spent it as if he was using water, but you know what the strange thing was? The money never shrunk."
She told me that she still does not know the exact reason for her parents' divorce, yet she estimates that it perhaps would be due to her dad's occupation. Her mother originally knew his job before their marriage but as the job is first illegal and secondly is very harsh, which to the general public is known as a Korean version gangster, my friend reflects how hard it would have been for her mother to tolerate and sacrifice all those. "After their divorce, I stayed with my dad. It was when I was 15 years old. As I was young, I could not accept the fact that I had to live apart with my mom. But of course, now I understand and respect my mom's choice and you know parents' divorce is not child's problem, yet it's just a matter between the wife and husband."
I moved on, asking about any other difficulties she faced after her parents' separation. "Other than the fact I missed my mom, there were times I felt scared and frightened because of my dad. Sometimes, my dad did not come home for days which for me as a young girl, I had to stay home all alone and I would barely go to sleep at night. Later, I found out that he was in prison. Such life was repetitive for him and me. Also, there were days when strangers trespassed to my house. I cannot forget the moment. I was home alone watching television, when I heard a noise outside the front door of my house. It was men talking to each other and they tried to unlock the door. However, as they failed, they used some kind of a machine to break into the house and with the help of it, the front door instantly opened."
Actually, listening to A's story was like reading a thrilling novel. It was beyond my reality and imagination. A continued, "Yeonjae, you should be careful too. I don't know exactly what that machine is called but it could quickly unlock any kind of doors and I think that is how robbers trespass to people's houses." "Anyways, the strangers unlocked the door and came into my house, using harsh words as they were looking around. Then they saw me frozen on the sofa and asked me where my dad was. I said that I didn't know and it was true. I really didn't know where my dad was. Luckily, they didn't hurt me perhaps because I was a little girl and I either could not understand what they were saying or their intentions of breaking into my house." I could not even imagine how scared A would have felt at that time.
"And there were times when my dad brought up women that looked nearly as the same age as my mom to our house. Those new face women changed constantly. Although I was young then, I knew that it was his girlfriends." It was hard for A to understand her dad and accept the new faces, so there were times she shouted and swore at them whenever they showed up, eventually making them to stop coming to the house.
Then I questioned how she'd managed to settle the struggles. "The conflict between me and my dad never stopped. There were lots of ups and downs and that's the reason why last year I went out and lived alone for months." "I promised to myself that I would not live the same as my dad. But the fact that he is my one and only person never changes and as I am grown up than before, I am now able to control myself and manage to stop the inner conflicts within me. During my middle and high school years, I kept struggling to myself and was disappointed at things I could not change just because I could not accept the whole situation. Unlike then, now I somehow learned to accept and let go of some parts that is out of my control. So I feel a lot better and try not to care about it much. In addition, as my dad is getting old, I can notice that his behavior is gradually changing. Metaphorically speaking, he was like a fierce lion in the past but now I think he is becoming a sheep." While answering to my questions, A looked very calm. She looked like a completely different person to me.
Concluding the interview, I asked her my last question: whether she has any regrets or not. "It would be a lie when I say no. Frankly, yes I do have regrets about what I have said to my dad when I was young. Yet, other than that, I have no regrets in terms of what I have done and my actions to handle the problem for myself. Now I continuously try to talk a lot with my dad and surprisingly it's the same for my dad too." Indeed, my friend was as the bravest person that I've ever seen. She was the one who went through harsh times and learned how to cope with all kinds of conflicts. Simultaneously, she knew how to hide her emotions, while being totally honest at times. After my interview with her, I silently blushed since I remembered myself grumbling to her about trivial matters through the days. To A it would have sounded like a tip of an iceberg, yet she was the one who comforted me and suggested solutions. She was always a big person to me, and now she is an exclusive.
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