Always try to do your best
My mother is a person who I admire the most. This doesn't mean I admired her since I was young. I always saw her working hard since I was a little baby. So I thought she was a person who only works and works and works. She seemed very strict to me. It was not easy for me to tell her honestly about my faults. However, she wasn't a kind of person like that. She was good at making friends. She had many friends all over the world who can help her whenever she needs help. I knew this when I became 20 years old. I travelled many countries with my mom and wherever we go, there were her friends who greeted her. They all praised her. She was a person who not only worked well but also took care of people around her. Yes, now I remember. She is an innocent and childlike woman. She is about 50 years old but she still likes dolls. She cries while watching sad movies or dramas. She is a sensitive and caring lady. I wondered why she seemed so strong to me. She acted like that. Why? I asked her about her childhood, lots of questions and I figured out why she is a person full of vitality. She grew up in a poor family. She studied wearing gloves in winter at home. Her older sister worked to pay her tuition. So she tried her best to enter a good university for her older sister. As a result, she got formal education and now she is a professor. She rebuilt her family fortune and now her family members all live in a good condition. She also resisted dictatorial government. When I interviewed her, she told me a lot about the dictatorship and how schools that day were different from nowaday's. It was really interesting. Through her, I could know that my mom is a truly splendid woman who should be respected and I learned that I can do a great thing when I try my best.
1. I enjoyed her interview essay. It was good to feel that how she respects her mother.
ReplyDelete2. I think "However, she wasn't a kind of person like that." I can guess that it means "she was not that strict person as I though" but it is not clear to understand. It would be greater if she desribe it more in detail. Also, I think "She is an innocent and childlike woman" this part kind of suddenly appeared. There is no connection with a previous sentence, I think.
3. I think her thesis statement is "why her mother is so strong to her".
4. "She tried her best to enter a good university for her older sister. As a result, she got formal education and now she is a professor." I think this part shows that what made her to be strong, therefore it is important.
5. I think there is too few quotations. It will be great if there is a few quotations.
6. It will be good if she makes some paragraphs by main points.