"Chris! Wait up!" At this point, this was from a far. I did not care to wait for them. I continued to my way up the hill, and this time with much haste.
Instead of sitting on a couch and watching the big game, we decided to get active and go to our spot up in Great Falls. The name of the park spoke for itself. Indeed the fall was great.
Gavin and I were ahead of all of them. This wasn't a race, but to see this mesmerizing view, it was worth the sweat. I still remember to this day, what Gavin use to say about the scene. It 'captivated' his soul, he said.
"Gavin, Chris!"
I looked back, still at this point. Then I turn to face forward. Branch hits the face. I lose balance. I slip on a moist pile of leaves. The hands cannot find something to grab a hold of. Now I see a huge tree and it is coming at me.
I kicked the tree to come to a halt. A twig breaks with it.
Now I'm surrounded by my friends.
"Chris are you alright?" "That was some slide man"
The beat of my heart dampened them. I quickly tried to regain my posture with embarrassment. That hurt. Now the pain started to 'kick' in. My ankle, which was fine seconds ago, now seems to have been shot by a sniper rifle.
I knew I cannot walk down the mountain anymore, and nor was I a small child able to be carried down. It was getting dark. We were all standing around with our palms on our heads.
"Guys I am so sorry.." I apologized, but apologies did not make the situation any better. We decided to call for rescue.
"You kids have to find a high ground. We are coming on our way but, we have to be able to see you." I knew just the right spot for them to find.
On the top of the hill, we all sat on a log laughing. The boys all made jokes about the situation and by the time the helicopter arrived, we were all at peace with nature. Except for me though, I was in pain.
a:i liked the metaphor you used and the description of your situation. it felt like a real.
ReplyDeletec:it was not that bad start in my opinion. i had to keep reading because i don't know who the hell is Gavin, chris.
d:past tense for reminiscene and present tense for description. i don't think this need any change.
Hi I am Ga Young!
ReplyDeleteI really like your dialogic sentences in your essay. It made your essay realistic. I think your first paragraph made me focus because it seems like a very interesting novel. I want to know if you and your friends had a similar experience after that happened.
"Chris! Wait up!" At this point, this was from a far. I did not care to wait for them. I continued to my way up the hill, and this time with much haste.
ReplyDeleteInstead of sitting on a couch and watching the big game of the day, we decided to get active and voyage to our spot up in Great Falls. The name of the park spoke for itself. Indeed the fall was great.
Gavin and I were ahead of all of them. This wasn't a race, but to see this mesmerizing view, it was worth the sweat. I still remember to this day, what Gavin use to say about the scene. It 'captivated' his soul, he said.
"Gavin, Chris!"
I looked back, standing still at this point. Then I turned to face forward. A branch hits the face. I lost balance. I slip on a moist pile of leaves. Like riding on a slay, I am falling fast. The hands in search of something to grasp hold of, they swung around; cannot find anything. Now I see a huge tree and it is coming at me.
I kicked the tree to come to a halt. A twig breaks with it.
Now I'm surrounded by my friends.
"Chris are you alright?" "That was some slide man"
The beat of my heart dampened them. I quickly tried to regain my posture with embarrassment. That hurt. Now the pain started to 'kick' in. My ankle, which was fine a second ago, seemed to have been broken.
I knew I cannot walk down the mountain anymore, and nor was I a small child able to be carried down. It was getting dark. We were all standing around with our palms on our heads.
"Guys I am so sorry.." I apologized, but apologies did not make the situation any better. We decided to call for rescue. With shaking hands I desperately called for help. Cold sweat went down from my head. My spine was shivering cold, and I was losing body temperature fast..
"You kids have to find a high ground. We are coming on our way but, we have to be able to see you." I knew just the right spot for them to find. The scenic place on top of the hill.
At the top, we all sat on a log laughing. The boys all made jokes about the situation and by the time the helicopter arrived, we were all at peace with nature. Except for me though, I was in pain.
On the top of the hill, we all sat on a log laughing. The boys all made jokes about the situation and by the time the helicopter arrived, we were all at peace with nature. Except for me though, I was in pain.